birhday times

it was my birthday yesterday. i had a fun day, weekend really, starting on fri night with dinner with friends (some of who had not met or not really knowing eachother, it was nice to join them together) and continuing on through the wknd. i had disappointment, because i didnt get what i hoped i might from the bf (still holding out for the thing he told me wasnt going to happen) but ive come to realise that perhaps, i was expecting too much. he did try, and it was sweet. sometimes, having expectations just means that 99 % of the time, youll be worse off, rather than just happy. i think i need to let go of things more. just enjoy, rahter than analysing and worrying. but how to stop...hmm
another thing on my mind, especially after this wknd, is my exam prep (or lack of). i cant imagine failing....i need to work harder. nothing ive done is harder or more complicated than this LOC though!! i feel like i need to non stop work from now on and really put my head down. but next wknd is sooobusy as well...aghhh
when i can, maybe later today, i think i might make a letter from my future self, like marissa's.
maybe similar to my bucket list, perhaps with more advice
xxx